Saturday, September 30, 2006
Bad Day
It all happened so fast. Driving down I-75 North bound, gonna go to Tiffs and practice breathing techqunices and positions for the labor. Then go to see the flute show at OR. Stuck in one of those clusters and everyone came to a stop ahead of me, I hit the break as fast as I could but I could tell quick that it was not going to work, so I swirved.
Man this sucks so so so so so much. Already so in debt from school and now all of this expense. The ticket, the insurance, the liabialty............
Could be worse, I have a great family that loves me. I called my dad first when it happened. All I could think was how dissapointed he was going to be in me. I knew mom would baby me but I just thought dad was gonna be pissed. The car was his mom's to begin with and it was a great deal keeping it in the family and all. (sorry Grandma) but when the tow truck pulled up at the house they were both standing there with these smirky grins and when they hugged me they were just so releaved that I was okay.....
In A2 I can get around without a car pretty good by bus. A few snags in late classes can be supplemented with cab rides. So this is another blessing.
Best blessing of all is that no one was hurt.... but man it scared the hell out of me.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Thinking bout this and that
Can you hear that?
That this that that that tick tock that rooooommm zooooomm
I thought about a story tonight
About driving along and hitting a person with my car
Perhaps a child
The horror of it
I thought about it
It did not happen
I thought about how we bring into our lives what we need
What we desire
What we deserve
What we have always come to come across
I though about him today
And how he was so lovely
To now be not so lovely
I thought about my own incompetence today
I thought about how nice it is to have someone to support me
I know how to know myself and now it is all about process
But now I am tipsy on wine and meditation is far from me
Now I am thinking about comfort and incompetence and how I want a baby
Now I am sick and alive and enlightenment is still here with me.
That this that that that tick tock that rooooommm zooooomm
I thought about a story tonight
About driving along and hitting a person with my car
Perhaps a child
The horror of it
I thought about it
It did not happen
I thought about how we bring into our lives what we need
What we desire
What we deserve
What we have always come to come across
I though about him today
And how he was so lovely
To now be not so lovely
I thought about my own incompetence today
I thought about how nice it is to have someone to support me
I know how to know myself and now it is all about process
But now I am tipsy on wine and meditation is far from me
Now I am thinking about comfort and incompetence and how I want a baby
Now I am sick and alive and enlightenment is still here with me.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Hate begets Hate
And why is it that people do the things that they do? What is human?
I mean people really do do really horrible things. People use one another and hurt one another. People kill each other and every other living thing on the planet. People maliciously hurt little children just to watch them suffer. People tie little kittens into a bag and toss them into the river. People sneak into other people’s houses and steal things that are not there own. People purposely hurt those that they love. People accidently hurt those that they don’t. People drop bombs on whole cities full of people that they have never met. People starve the poor because they don’t agree with governmental policy. People take advantage of those with good hearts. People sexually abuse women, men, children and animals. People needlessly kill. People need to kill just to stay alive. People get defensive and try to stand up for most horrible things that they do, talking about rights and you can’t take this from me. People expose their children to things that will kill them. People kill their children. People will watch others do without while they have so much.
And how do we deal with these truths? Well first off we separate and create the people of they in the caste of them. That, those people that I just mentioned, any one of them, or all of them as a whole, they are not me and they are not my family and those kind of people are not even close to human and they deserve to be locked away, they need have those horrible things done to them they need to have more horrible things done to them, they need to just be killed and taken out of our world completely. And we get defensive about how these people, the thems, are so different from us and how we are nothing like them and never could be, how they must have been born that way.
The problem with all of these ideals is that we have been doing this for years and it does not seem to be working. These people are still here and still doing those horrible things.
I mean people really do do really horrible things. People use one another and hurt one another. People kill each other and every other living thing on the planet. People maliciously hurt little children just to watch them suffer. People tie little kittens into a bag and toss them into the river. People sneak into other people’s houses and steal things that are not there own. People purposely hurt those that they love. People accidently hurt those that they don’t. People drop bombs on whole cities full of people that they have never met. People starve the poor because they don’t agree with governmental policy. People take advantage of those with good hearts. People sexually abuse women, men, children and animals. People needlessly kill. People need to kill just to stay alive. People get defensive and try to stand up for most horrible things that they do, talking about rights and you can’t take this from me. People expose their children to things that will kill them. People kill their children. People will watch others do without while they have so much.
And how do we deal with these truths? Well first off we separate and create the people of they in the caste of them. That, those people that I just mentioned, any one of them, or all of them as a whole, they are not me and they are not my family and those kind of people are not even close to human and they deserve to be locked away, they need have those horrible things done to them they need to have more horrible things done to them, they need to just be killed and taken out of our world completely. And we get defensive about how these people, the thems, are so different from us and how we are nothing like them and never could be, how they must have been born that way.
The problem with all of these ideals is that we have been doing this for years and it does not seem to be working. These people are still here and still doing those horrible things.
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