Woman

In a whirlwind of madness good and bad and inbetween. My mind has been on so much lately. Coffee is my new drug and I can feel the effects from just a few days of abuse.

Rainbow message boards have me all worked up. I should just stop posting all together. Stop going to all of the events and drop out. But these questions that are being brought up are making me question so many interesting things. But no one is getting what I am saying and I come off as a real bitch most of the time. I have not been so motivated about what it means to be a woman and what comes with it and what does not since India. In India it was a total mind fuck because it was the first time I had thought about these things and it was a real smack in the face. Realizing that a lot of American feminism is actually taking away what it means to be a woman and replacing it with trying to be like a man. And if you are not like a man you are not a good woman, you are a backward old world piece of ....... It is totally messed up. India was the first time I saw it. I saw those women that I had been told were so repressed and oppressed but they were not they were proud and they had amazing lives and raised beautiful families.

And then there is sex and sexuality, that is what Rainboow message boards got me all worked up about. I really think that the oppression of women starts with oppressing their sexuality. It is so powerful, men buy it, beg for it, commit to it, steal it. Whereas very few women do any of those things for male sexuality. Women in India are so sexy but not like American women, it is different. Women in America think of women in India as being sexuality repressed but they are extremely sexual beings. I could never quite put my finger on it enough to describe it but it is strong and beautiful.

You do not have to view a naked women as a sex object and you do not need to view a covered woman as an oppressed subservient object. It is so complicated and it is hard for me to hash out. There will be many more posts on this matter.